


dream smp textfic

by rollingbubbles



Category: Minecraft (Video Game)
Genre: High School, How Do I Tag, I Don't Even Know, Polyamorous Dream SMP Ensemble, Texting
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-16
Updated: 2021-02-16
Packaged: 2021-03-18 22:47:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 20
Words: 5,452
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29497506
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rollingbubbles/pseuds/rollingbubbles
Summary: tomathy: you are a biTchtube: OOOoOoOooranbob: your moms a nice lady, truly and sincerelyminEr: agreed, truly ans sincerely, she absolutely enjoyed out company.tomathy: YOU ARE A BTUCH BOY AND GIRL
Relationships: Alexis | Quackity & Karl Jacobs & Sapnap, Alexis | Quackity & Sapnap, Alexis | Quackity/Karl Jacobs, Clay | Dream & Floris | Fundy, Clay | Dream/GeorgeNotFound (Video Blogging RPF), Floris | Fundy/5up, Karl Jacobs/Sapnap, Ponk | DropsByPonk & Sam | Awesamdude
Comments: 10
Kudos: 138





	1. Chapter 1

so 

grade wise im thinking

the only 8th graders are Drista and Lani

but they grew up with tommy and tubbo so they're still in that group chat.

but tubbo and tommy are freshmen.

ranboo and purpled are sophmores, but somehow still know tubbo and tommy, the details are blurry. 5up is also here he's just got 5head classes, man.

so juniors are sapnap, karl, quackity, corpse, fundy, niki, ponk, eret and, skeppy

and then the seniors are dream, sam, technoblade, wilbur, badboyhalo, antfrost, and george.

the last few people that might get mentioned are philza, a literal father, and schlatt, lani and tbo's big brother who is technically taking care of them,, technically. he's also in his second year of college.

and now i gotta put some extra stuff about how people know each other.

sam is tommy's tutor: he's also top of his class, sam 5head.

ranboo and dream have an art class together: they were placed directly next to each other. 

fundy and dream did date once: it was short but very cheesey and cute until it wasn't- 

techno made a request for the school to start a fencing club: corpse joined bc he liked the shiny and pointy. 

karl, niki, quackity, tubbo and wilbur are all in one music class.

eret knows schlatt, no one knows why or how but sometimes if tubbo is acting up eret will just pull out his phone and stare and tubbo just stops.

badboyhalo once told quackity that he'd go to prom with him if no on else went with him because badboyhalo is a good friend.

karl has talked to everyone here with the exceptions of philza, schlatt and lani. He talked to drista once and she remembers him as odd but charming, and smelled like Christmas.

technically, as i start this story, no one is dating but if i feel like it... it might change.

thank u, have a good day.


	2. groups and such

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> just so yall know

the * is bc that person made the groupchat

so. there's:

the miNERs:

skype is better(lani)  
trumbo(tubbo)  
tommy (tomathy)  
gary (purpled)  
7'3 (ranboo)  
the gongrangler (drista)*

soup for rent:

nachu (niki)  
rainbowsparkle (eret)  
flutterpie(captain puffy)  
foxRus (fundy) *  
wibloop (wilbur)

dont text past 12 am:

wilbur  
techno  
tommy *  
philza 

socks on:

prince sap  
peincess karl*  
prince quackity  
virgin (dream)  
thot (geroge)

hipixel my beloved: 

scraptrap (sapnap)*  
piss (dream)  
dripforsell (George)  
daunfsofgands(bbh)  
turkthefurry(antfrost)

mechanical gods:  
aWeSamDuDe  
fupfupfup(5up)  
notthef o x ears(fundy)  
what foX EARS??? (ranboo)  
tubesock(tubbo) *

mario kart:  
kaaaaaaaaarl  
quackmaam  
omg is that a dead body (corpse)  
greg (geroge)


	3. today

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> prince sap  
> peincess karl  
> prince quackity  
> virgin (dream)  
> thot (geroge)
> 
> enjoy💞

socks on:

virgin: today a kid gave me a Hawaiian shirt and i was very scared but he told me to wear it on Wednesday

princess quackity: askers: 0

princess karl: THAT KID WAS SPITTING THE TRUTH DREAM PLEASE. PLEASE DREAM PLEASE.

virgin : dont beg

thot: oh my god

prince sap: when do i get my shirt? :(

princess karl: :( when you tell me what size shirt you wear, u beautiful boy 

princess quackity: it should have been monday, no one likes monday

virgin: anyways who do i give this shirt to, ion even want it

princess karl: keep the shirt or get stabbed u loser :0c 

virgin: sapnap...

prince sap: alex.......

princess quackity: uhHhh GEorge???

thot: dream wear the shirt, i already agreed to wearing the shirt so you have to as well.

virgin: okay 

princess quackity: cuck-


	4. boomer humor aint cute

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> sales - renee (looped the best part) on soundcloud

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> skype is better(lani)  
> tube (tubbo)  
> tommy (tomathy)  
> gary (purpled)  
> 7'3 (ranboo)  
> the gongrangler (drista)*

the miNERs:

7'3: tboo

7'3: rubbo

7'3: THBOO

7'3: MY BANDS ARE TOO BJG FOF THIS TINY DEVJCE 

skype is better: :| ranbii

skype is better: :| tanvoo

skype is better: eanbob

the gongrangler: get his ass, lani

tomathy: you are a biTch

tube: OOOoOoOoo

7'3: your moms a nice lady, truly and sincerely

the gongrangler: agreed, truly ans sincerely, she absolutely enjoyed out company.

tomathy: YOU ARE A BTUCH BOY AND GIRL

7'3: I WAS BEING NICE

7'3: TUBBO PLEASE COME TO THE LIBRARY RIGHT NOW ;;;;;;;;;;;

tube: cricket noises 

tomathy: :| why aren't you asking me?

skype is better: :| why aren't you asking me?

the gongrangler: :| why aren't you asking me?

gary: :| why aren't you asking me?

tube: :| why aren't you asking me? 

tube: wait

7'3: TUBBO THERE'S A REALLY NICE PERSON I GUESS TRYING TO INTERACT WITH ME SOCIALLAY AND I AM NOT READT FOR IT PLEASE COME TO THE LIRVRAY 

tube: SIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

tube: IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

tube: IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGGHHHHH

tube: okay big man im on my way

7'3: LETS GOOOOOO

gary: loser :0

tomathy: you asked me to do the exact same thing for you before :0

the gongrangler: BOOM ROASTED

skype is better: BOOM ROASTED 

tube: BOOM ROASTED 

gary: this is why i never talk to you people :|


	5. new gc already smh

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> remember when I said that a bunch of people are in one music class.
> 
> toto by africa starts playing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> nimrod : karl  
> duckmmm : quackity  
> cries : niki   
> po (tiny winky) : tubbo  
> wilbur just wilbur

si mi do mi durk durk durk durk du:

nimrod: what is this

wilbur: hello karl, we are in the same music class

duckmmm: KARLOOOOOOOOOOSSS

nimrod: WHY IS MY NAME NIMROD TBIS IS CRUEL

wilbur: i heard alex call you that all day once it was very funny

cries: hello o/ 

po: uh 

po: what's po?

wilbur: the red teletubbie

po: ....... :| change it to tinky winky please 

wilbur: okay 

cries: what's this group chat for? \Ω/ 

nimrod: to be a bAND

nimrod: WE'RE GONNA BE THE BEST BAND WE'RE GONNA BE LIKE LEMONADE MOUTH

duckmmm: ???

cries: ???

wilbur: ???

tinky winky: ???

tinky winky: :0c thank u wilbir soft

wilbur: :0 like Microsoft but wilbursoft 

wilbur: i love it :00

tinky winky: it totally wasnt autocorrect :000

wilbur: >:0 anyways

cries: ;0; what is this group chat fOR 

duckmmm: aye yall catch anything being said today bc sometimes i think the teacher is off her rockers :|

nimrod: no i dont pay attention LMAOOOO

wilbur: .... none of yall pay attention?

cries: ..... tubbo?

tinky winky: ..... quackity?

duckmmm: ..... uh karl??

nimrod: imma go ahead and say thats a fat negative, will

wilbur: FCUM I JUST WANTES ANSWERS WHY IS THERE WRITTEN EXAMS LIKE THIS in muSIIICCCXX

nimrod: you asked the two loudest kids, the one that doesn't pay attention and the one that sleeps the wholleeeeee class.... for answers

cries: i am sorry i cant help it, im still adjusting to the tiMEZONE 

tinky winky: THIS CLASS IS TOO BORING TO PAY ATTENTION TOO

duckmmm: oh are we the loud ones karlos? ;_;

nimrod: of course not, bb 

duckmmm: :D

nimrod: (yes absolutely)

duckmmm: D:

wilbur: YOU LOT HAD THE EASIEAT NUMBERS TO GET A HOLD OF SO I DID WHAT I HAD TO >:0

cries: HOW DID YOU GET MY NUMBER 

cries: NVM YOJ ALREADY HAD IT 

tinky winky: :( stop living with tommy so i can swerve u :/

nimrod: :/ i... i mean everyone just has my number i can't even... keep track of this

duckmmm: ://///// 

nimrod: idk how he got your's man 

duckmmm: COUGHS

wilbur: LOUD COGHING 

duckmmm: CLUGH COUGH COUGH COUGH WHEZZZEZEEE

cries: wow sounds like yall are sick or smth 

nimrod: ALEX???? HELLO??? WHAT???? 

duckmmm: KARL??? HELLO.??? IM DISCONNECTED IM 

duckmmm: SUDDENLY IM DEAF OR BLIDN????

duckmmm left the group.

wilbur: ACK WAIT 

wilbur left the group.

tinky winky: o/ how are you gonna make the group and then LEAVE coWARD 

cries added wilbur to the group.

nimrod added duckmmm to the group.

nimrod: yall are smelly for thAT one on jah 

cries: smells like a rat ;0


	6. gulps in tension

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> oinkies uwu: technoblade  
> nightmare: dream  
> country boy: corpse   
> scrapanap : who u think?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i dont know why i keep making new groupchats, dont get comfortable with what u think exsists

fencering or smth:

country boy: guys

country boy: guys 

country boy: guys guys 

nightmare: hi corpse <3

nightmare: BAHAHAHHAHA WHO MADE MY NAME NIGHTMARE STOPPP XD

country boy: techno techno techno 

nightmare: :0c oh my gosh technochan

oinkies uwu: Dream, you're such a nerd, i will literally eat you. 

nightmare: 0////0 oh my gosh techno i know u like me but this u/////u this is so blunt, but i accept your offer

country boy: NO NO NO STOP STOP THATS NOT 

oinkies uwu: HEH?????

country boy: THATS NOT WHY I MADE THIS GROUP CHAT PLEASE 

nightmare: why did you make this group chat, crops? 

country boy: because fundy told me you used to also be in the fencing club

nightmare: yes, this is true

oinkies uwu: yeah he was the second person i could recruit, i needed 5 people total

nightmare: it was fun, technoblade, i enjoyed stabbing you

oinkies uwu: you're more of a psycho than i am, but no one ever beliEVES ME, HOW ARE YOU LIKE THIS

country boy: ANYWays so i was wondering if you guys wanted to idk maybe

country boy: run a little bit of a competition, maybe best lf 5

nightmare: HE'S LITERALLY THE CAPTAIN AND I HAVENT FENCED IN LIKE A YEAR >:0 

country boy: but... 

country boy: thats not...

country boy: what fundy said---..

nightmare: FUNDY IS A LIAR 

nightmare: no he's not, omg i 

nightmare: cough

country boy: so... you'll do it or ill.... idk maybe

country boy: tell fundy you called him a liar idk

oinkies uwu: what if i dont agree?

country boy: there's a cash prize uwuwuwu

oinkies uwu: I, Technoblade, slayer of gods and blood thirsty anarchist, challenge you, Dream, god of chaos and control, to a duel.

nightmare:.... how much

country boy: ive been saving up for a month because i heard you were really good and a quick learner, so ive fot 626 dollars for whoever wins and thats a paycheck and McDonald's and TheN SOme. bAYBEEEE lets GooOo

nightmare: I, Dream, god of choas anf control, will accept your pitiful, lowly challenge, Technoblade... 

nightmare: bring your a game or ill be having bacon soon <3

oinkies uwu: i look forward to destroying you, old friend.

scrapsnap: iiiiii dont think you meant to add me to thiiiiiis

country boy: no, i did, spread the world

country boy: it'll be on friday after school <3

nightmare: IM ABOUT TO SCREAM WHAT IS THIS IS THIS A SET UP OR SMTH STOPPPPPP


	7. kaaaaaarrrll

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ranboo simps unite

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> skype is better(lani)  
> tube (tubbo)  
> tommy (tomathy)  
> gary (purpled)  
> 7'3 (ranboo)  
> the gongrangler (drista)

the miNERs:

gary: today is the first day that the ranboo, antisocial, quiet boy, our ranboo

gary: talked to a girl!!!!!

the gongrangler: he talks to me wdym

7'3: you're a girl?

the gongrangler: im the gongrangler tbh :/

tomathy: drista is a beast

tube: so i dont have to go hELP YOU TALKED TO EPOPLE ANYMORE??? A BLESSED DAY IT BE????

7'3: no no u still do 

gary: he even started the conversation himself

gary: i saw it with my ooooooown eyes

7'3: niki was my step sister

7'3: plz dont b weird about it <3

gary: booo

tube: booo

skype is better: booo

the gongrangler: sucks to suck

tomathy: niki is your stEP SISTER????

7'3: not anymore, was, but we got along pretty well, she's nice 

7'3: so we still talk on occasion

7'3: i wanted to show her a book

gary: BOOOOOOOOOO

gary: i was like :00c teaaa okay, ranboo i c u, whatta player

tube: should've known better, ranboo is a beautiful soul but that beautifulness is reserved

tube: delicate and shy, just like a rabbit too afriad to go too far from home

7'3: see i dont need to talk to girls, tube is all i need :0c 

tube: no, you'll find a nice lady friend one day, big man

the gongrangler: he's got all the girls secretly simping for him 

skype is better: 😷😴 none of the boys in this group chat are anything worth simping for 

skype is better: i think tubbo just threw something at my door 😴😷 stay mad 

tube: all the men here are epic idk what u mean 

gary: /all/? yikes

tomathy: i know you're not referring to me, are you? as i am the most epic man here. you know that right?

gary: if you believed that then why would you immediately assume i was talking about u? :0c

tomathy: BECAUSE U ARE A LARGE BITCH

7'3: i need to leave this group chat yall are so toxic

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i wrote this whole thing on the toilet 
> 
> i also accidentally wrote the whole thing in the chapter summary <3


	8. after the war

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i went back to new york

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> even know we started at the very same time, Alexander Hamilton beGAN TO CLIMB
> 
> aWeSamDuDe  
> fupfupfup(5up)  
> notthef o x ears(fundy)  
> what foX EARS??? (ranboo)  
> tubesock(tubbo)

MECHANICAL GODS:

tubesock: do we have a club meeting today and can i skip it? 

fupfupfup: yes and no?

aWeSamDuDe: yes and no, indeed 

what foX EARS???: why would u need to skip it?

tubesock: D: i want to go home and sleep today because i don't have any homework, this is prime time for me to correct my sleeping schedule 

notthef o x ears: honestly???? seems like a plannnnn???? maybe???????

tubesock: FUNDY COMING THROUGH WITH THE SAVE???? MAYBR???????

fupfupfup: this is the only time we get to talk fundy :'( 

notthef o x ears: tubbo you are now on your own 

tubesock: BAHHHHH D:

aWeSamDuDe: how about we shorten the meeting a bit? you'll have to work harder though

tubesock: saaammmm <3 ill put in a good word for u <3

aWeSamDuDe: ?

fupfupfup: yknow?

fupfupfup: with ponk?

tubesock: everyone knOws

aWeSamDuDe: o_O

what foX EARS???: not the bbh face, nOT THE BBH FACE OH GOD

tubesock: see u friends later <3 but for a shorter amount of time <333


	9. UHHH

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I love play rehearsal.
> 
> g wash: wilbur
> 
> hercomul: ranboo
> 
> aliham: Tommy 
> 
> brrrr: dream 
> 
> king g: eret
> 
> WORKWORKELIZA : niki 
> 
> jlaunsns : tubbo
> 
> thanos jefferson : sapnap

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oo ee thank u for reading <3
> 
> they made another gc

so so so:

g wash: guys guys i had an idea

hercomul: what is this 

WORKWORKELIZA: hello again wilbur, i keep forgetting you have my number

g wash: hi niki :D

aliham: wtf is this shit why am i here u bitch

g wash: :|

aliham: brother i love u 

g wash: i want to be in a play

brrr: why am i here

g wash: u give off villian vibes 

king g: lmao so true

king g: wait 

king g: hey im not a villian :(

aliham: i find it amazing u understand these names, eret

WORKWORKELIZA: i dont recognize all of them, i only watched Hamilton once because wilbur said he'd watch it with me 

aliham: AWWWWWWWWWWWW

aliham: is that was u wanted 

jlaunsns: daaang 

aliham: hello t o b y 

jlaunsns: ello tom

g wash: this is already perfect

thanos jefferson: lmaooooo 

thanos Jefferson: :0c 

g wash: u like your roll sap? 

thanos Jefferson: yes i am thanos :0c

g wash: no u are Thomas Jefferson 

thanos jefferson: WHAT DID I MISS ????

g wash: :0

brrr: :0

aliham: :0 

WORKWORKELIZA: :0 

king g: :0 

thanos Jefferson: what did i miss?????????????? hello??????

WORKWORKELIZA: do i get a baby sister peggy <3

g wash: maybe

aliham: i would like to cut out say no to this, we have to skip over say no to this

brrr: thats like my favorite song :(((

g wash: :((( tommy is too young too pure 

brrr: make someone else Hamilton then :( do not cut out an absolute banger :(( havent you ever heard of illegal heathers? they cut out some bangers :((

g wash:....... tommy do u wanna... be someone else? 

aliham: DREAM U ARE A BITCH


	10. i thinkin bout u

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> uwu i been wishing i was next to u
> 
> uwu

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> airplane mode is a banger
> 
> oinkies uwu: technoblade  
> nightmare: dream  
> country boy: corpse  
> scrapanap : sapnap

fencering or smth:

country boy: thank u both so much for participating 

scrapsnap: i am so scared right now

country boy: why

nightmare: :| 

oinkies uwu: that was rather fun, if you ever decide you want to join the club again the doors are open

nightmare: mhm! <3

scrapsnap: he aint lookin too haPPY YALL IM SCARED

scrapsnap: he DONT LIKE LOOSIN YALL LEFT ME ALONE WITH HIM ION LIKE IT

scrapsnap: HE LOOKIN AT ME ALL FUNNY LIKE IM SO SCARED

country boy: 💁🙋💆 tuff tatas bby boy

oinkies uwu: he has always been quite competitive, truly the most fun type of people to ABSOLUTELY DESTROY 

nightmare: owo <3 Im so glad u had fun

scrapsnap: HE'S BREAKING STACKS OF PENCILS LIKE SP SOCIOPATH

nightmare: :0c sapnap put down your phone or it's next

scrapsnap: aww geez guys i gotta go <3

country boy: ill beat box at your funeral <3 

oinkies uwu: I'll break dance to the beat boxing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i do not know how to get rid of the other note about grades
> 
> but i wrote this whole thing on the toilet again


	11. Fuwa fuwa

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I saw smth about feral boys band au so I'm being a weeb about it
> 
> prince sap  
> peincess karl  
> prince quackity  
> virgin (dream)  
> thot (geroge)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also idk how to bold text or else this would be a lot prettier y'all sorry

Socks on:

prince sap: we should start a band

princess karl: :0c I'm listening, my good man

princess quackity: :0c absolutely not 

princess karl: :0c quackity out the gang?

princess quackity: :0c lets start a fucking band or smth I guess 

virgin: you've literally already dropped a song so I don't see why you'd be against it alice

virgin: Alex

princess karl: dream the type to use text to speech instead of just typing and that's why he's a virgin

prince sap: karl pls he's looking at me all mad and stuff again 

thot: george on bass

princess karl: O: GEORGE ON BASS???

thot: GEORGE!! ON!! BASS!!

virgin: hot

prince sap: dream vocals and only vocals

princess karl: sap is our drumMER LETS GOOOOO IM GLAD YALL LIKE THIS IDEA

princess quackity: I'm yui

princess karl: what

thot: yeah, he's yui

princess karl: bless u

prince sap: what

princess quackity: karl is mio

princess karl: and you're yui?

princess quackity: yes

prince sap: what am I

thot: ritsu

princess quackity: ritsu

virgin: ..... is this..... anime?

princess karl: oHHHHHHH I GET UT NOW YOU'RE BOTH FUCKING WEEEEEEEBS OKAZYTYYY 

thot: :| shut up 

princess quackity: :| shut up

prince sap: I love u in all forms, even in weeb form 💝

princess quackity: :/ .... 💝💝💝💝💝 shut up💝💝💝💝💝

thor: ew goodnight


	12. my first kiss went a little like this

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry I use them a lot I just love this dynamic, deal with it

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> skype is better(lani)  
> tube (tubbo)  
> tommy (tomathy)  
> gary (purpled)  
> 7'3 (ranboo)  
> the gongrangler (drista)

the miNERs: 

skype is better: important question for you lot

tube: hello sister

skype is better: important question for everyone but tubbo

tomathy: what

the gongrangler: what's up 

7'3: is it gonna be toxic?

skype is better: always 🤓

skype is better: anyway, have you all had your first kiss before?

tube: I'm too young

gary: I'm too young

tomathy: I'm too young

the gongrangler: I'm too young 

7'3: uh oh

tube: surely not 

tube: SURELY NOT 😭😭😭😭😭😭

7'3: I mean if accidents don't count 

tomathy: no, no there is no such thing as accidentally kissing someone, I do not believe it.

gary: I actually have kissed someone before, I was like 11, it was really fucking funny looking back on it

7'3: lets talk about that instead

gary: nvm, spill ranboo

7'3: well, last year I was 6' had a huge growth spurt over the summer but it was at the start of the year

skype is better: that's bizarre because 6' is pretty tall as it is

7'3 right and I bumped into someone and basically bulldozed them

the gongrangler: as one does

7'3: right and I wasn't rushing my class was only a few feet away, I would've been early anyways so I helped them pick their stuff up

tube: implying there's a universe where you don't help them and you're just dark freddy.

7'3: right and we fall and we kiss and I rolled away and speed walked away

tomathy: I'm.... I'm just not visualizing how u, a mountain, fall at the perfect height to kiss someone who's probably smaller than you

7'3: he wasn't exactly smaller than me, he was about the same height, I was so scared he was gonna beat me up I had to skedaddle.

the gongrangler: anyways though, that doesn't count, otherwise I'd also be telling you all a tale of the time I lost my first kiss to a shoe and I don't think we have the patience for that

gary: this is the most interesting turn of the day

the gongrangler: well, anyways guys 

skype is better: ? tell us?

the gongrangler: no💝

tube: okay

7'3: ALL I HAD TO SAY WAS NO??????

tomathy: no, u had to tell us 

7'3: TOXIC

7'3: THE WHOLE LOT OF YOU


	13. caught in a bad romance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I saw. tiktok that was so good it made me hit the table, let that settle in for a moment

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> men are like a luxury, like a dessert
> 
> I love men, I think men are the coolest
> 
> but you don't really need them to live.
> 
> this is unrelated and if you read it, you're a real one. 🤧💖
> 
> prince sap  
> peincess karl  
> prince quackity  
> virgin (dream)  
> thot (geroge)

virgin: sooooo

thot: dream wanted to know what was all the rings about 

virgin: like y'all HAD SO MANY, ALL THREE OF YOU

thot: I liked it

virgin: I thought it was hot 

thot: hOW AM I THE THOT HERE AGAIN????

princess karl: I just... bought them engagement rings...

princess quackity: WE ALL HAD THE SAME IDEA AND WE ALL WENT AND BOUGHT RINGS, I WAS DOING IT BC KARL SAID WE WERE ALL GONNA GET MARRIED LIKE A WEEK AGO AND I WAS LIKE "yeah this is gonna be so cute and nice and such a fun idea"

prince sap: SAME AND THEN HTHESE BOZOS DECIDED TO DO THE SAME THING AS ME AND THEN BUY RINGS AND I MEAN IF THEY BOUGHT THEM OF COURSe I'm GONNA WEAR IT 😭😭

princess karl: I was trying to foreshadow.... that I was going to buy rings,kind of like gifts for being such cool guys... but like... they apparently thought I meant I wanted to get honking married

princess quackity: NONONONONONONO YOU SAUD WE WERE GONNA GET MARRIED YOU WERE LIKE ASKING US OUT BASICALLY YOU SOUNDED LIKE YOU WANTED TO SPEND TNHE REST OF YOUR LIFE WITH US

prince sap: NO THAT'S NOT WHAT HE WAS SAYING BUT IT DID FEEL THAT WAY FOR SURE

princess karl: we'll I do hope you're in my life for as long as I can keep you,,,,,,, bc you're really cool people and I love you both so much 

princess quackity: OH MY GOD ARE YOU SEEING THIS

virgin: should we not have asked

prince sap: I AM BUT I GET QHAT HE'S SAUING LIKE I KNOW WHAT HE MEANS NOW BUT I REALLY FELT LIKE MAYBE HE MEANT SOMETHING WAYYYY MORE A FEW DAYS AGO HAD ME

prince sap: you had me simpin bro you gotta

prince sap: yoU GOTTA CHILL

princess karl: 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄 not my fault you're a knuckle head

princess quackity: BULLSHIT

princess quackity: I would never simp over anyone I can't believe this has happened to me I'm exiting, I'm leaving, I'm going to have a permanent vacation arc 

prince sap: D: noo

princess karl: stay :'(

princess quackity: okay :'(((

thot: did we almost cause a mf divorce

virgin: I think so

thot: don't blame me, I'm colour blind 🙄


	14. why must thyn socks be on

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> fair maiden, beautiful morrow to see a beautiful dame

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> socks on:
> 
> prince sap  
> peincess karl*  
> prince quackity  
> virgin (dream)  
> thot (geroge)

socks on:

virgin: :((

prince sap: no shut up, don't tell them please

virgin: kaaaaaaaaarl :((((

prince sap: ON MY GOD YOU'RE SO DUCKING IMMATURE STOP STOP IT

virgin: AAAAAAAAAAAAAALEX

princess quackity: meow

princess quackity: NO NO I DIDNT MEOW KARLOS FOOK DMY SOHONE

princess quackity: meow meow meow nyah prruururururrrr I'm such a pretty kirty meowww

princess karl: I'm about to be very raCIST RIGHT NOW 

princess quackity: MEOW EMEOWIM QUACKITY AND I WANT TO GIVE KARL HIS PHONE BACK RIGHT NOW BECAUSE KARL WILL LITERALLY SPANK HIM ON THE BUTTOCKS IF HE DOESN'T

thot: hey guys what's up :)

princess quackity: okay I got my phone back

princess karl: I totally and truthfully spanked quackity

princess quackity: NO YOU DIDN'T SHUT THE FUCK UP NEVER LIE LIKE THAT AGAIN OR ELSE

princess quackity: MEOW MEOWMEOWMEOW IM QUACKITY AND I GOT SPANKED BY KARL AND I ENJOYED IT IT WAS VERY FUNNY AND I AM BERY HORNAVAKAJ

princess karl: ayo dream did you need something or like????

virgin: oh it's just

virgin: sapnap said you were ugly and I thought it was funny..

virgin: but you seem to be dealing with more right now

prince sap: HE TRICKED ME HE TRICKED ME HE TRICKED ME KARL I WOULD NEVER I WOULD NEVER SAY THAT TO EITHER OF YOU I THINK YOU'RE BOTH HOT AND CUTE AND FUNNY 

princess quackity: meow meow meow 

princess karl: indeed, quackity, meow meow, indeed.

princess quackity: heart been broke so many times I I

princess quackity: I don't know what to beeelieeeve

princess karl: so why are we ugly sap? hm? wanna tell us that to our faces in geo later? hmmm????

prince sap: NoooOoooHOHIHOOOOO 😭😭😭😭 I DIDN'T SAYAYAYHAHYH THAAAAAAAATT

princess quackity: so then what the fuck did you say?

prince sap: dream kept asking if he looked attractive in various different ways and at first I was like yes and then I was like idk and then I started saying no and calling him ugly and then he asked about y'all before I even realized he was changing the names and I called y'all ugly by accident I'm sowwies 😟

princess quackity: hmmmmmm

princess karl: meoooooowww

princess quackity: dreams a bitch, and that's on purrrrr

princess karl: I screenshot that so fast, gOODT NIGHT


	15. mcwopper

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> nah itchy knee say nah ari got toe nah

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> skype is better(lani)  
> tube (tubbo)  
> tommy (tomathy)  
> gary (purpled)  
> 7'3 (ranboo)  
> the gongrangler (drista)*

the miNErs:

tube: my best friend senses are tingling, which one of you is it

tomathy: I am struggling, I do not like history, history is boring, and I am confused and because I stopped paying attention 30 minutes ago I am more confused

gary: I have been in the stall for the past 15 minutes, chipotle... chipotle............... chipotle.......

7'3: I am in art class and this guy next to me started a conversation with me, I think he's sleep deprived which like okay I get it but I 😰 don't 😰 wanna 😰 talk 😰 to 😰 him 😰

skype is better: I left my lunch at home and I am very afraid of eating the school lunch, it is so weird and I do not want to have to digest this sorry excuse for baked chicken 

the gongrangler: uhh.....my socks keep sliding down :'/

7'3: OH MY GOSH DRISTA YOUR STRUGGLE IS MAKING ME FEEL BETTER ABOUT MY OWN

gary: vouch

skype is better: vouch

tomathy: vouch

tomathy: that shit is the worst 

tube: I cannot help u all at once 💔😟

gary: we appreciate the offer tubbo, you're a good friend for even realizing that someone was upset

tomathy: purpled being nice screenshot

skype is better: screenshot

7'3: screenshot

the gongrangler: screenshot

tube: screenshot and new lockscreen

gary: you will never ever catch me lacking ever again 😐


	16. PayPal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> what's gonna work
> 
> teaaaaaaam work
> 
> soup for rent:
> 
> nacho (niki)  
> rainbowsparkle (eret)  
> flutterpie(captain puffy)  
> foxRus (fundy) *  
> wibloop (wilbur)

soup for rent:

nacho: guys I.... I think...

nacho: I think I just robbed a kid??????

flutterpie: what??????? are you okaym??????

foxRus: LMAO LETS GOOOOOOOO

wibloop: daaaang, I didn't know you had it in u, ma :0

nacho: 😭😭 it wasn't even on purpose 😭😭

rainbowsparkle: how does one accidentally rob someone?

nacho: well this boy came up to me.. and he seemed really excited, I recognized him from somewhere but he DEFINITELY recognized me 

wibloop: seems legit but...

nacho: and and then he asked for my paypal information and I was like ???????????????? I mean okay

foxRus: and then u robbed him blind, pog.

nacho: fundy 😭😭😭

nacho: no he asked if he could send me some money in exchange for a favor and I said "depends on the favor, but sure thing.." he looKED HARMLESS, RIGHT SO 

nacho: THE KIDS LIKE "ILL SEND YOU TEN BUCKS RIGHT NOW" AND SO 

nacho: 90 additional dollars later....

wibloop: oh no... niki.....

nacho: 90 ADDITIONAL DOLLARS LATER AND A BELL RINGING AND THE PRINCIPAL TELLING US TO GO TO CLASS LATERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRREREEERRE

flutterpie: oh no nIKIII

nacho: OH NO NIIIIIKIIIIIII 😭😭😭 

foxRus: LETS GOOO NIIIKKKIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

nacho: fundyyy 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

rainbowsparkle: just find him later and give it back 

nacho: yeah but like ... I just got 100 dollars so...

foxRus: SCANDALOUS

wibloop: NIKI NIHACHU OH MY GOSH

flutterpie: .... niki.... 

rainbowsparkle: THEN DODGE THAT BITCH WHEN SCHOOL ENDS, QUEEN, DASH TO THE BUS, LEAVE NO TRACE OF YOURSELF

nacho: LETS GOOOOOOOOOOOO

foxRus: LETS GOOOOOOOOOOOO

flutterpie: LETS GOOOOOOOOOOO

wibloop: LETS GOOOOOOOOOOOO

rainbowsparkle: LETS GOOOOOOOOO

foxRus: we should split it

nacho: gUTE NacHt 💤


	17. I say boom boom boom

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> and everybody say wae hoo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WAE HOOO

don't text past 12 am:

tommy: WIIIIIIIL URRRRRR

wilbur: to my

tommy: DO YOU REMEMBER THAT GIRL THAT YOU HAD TO SHOW SROUND THE SCHOOL 

wilbur: niki?

tommy: NIKI YES, HER I SAW HER TODAY

wilbur: uh huh?

techno: did she reject you?

tommy: NO TECHNOBLADE SHE DID NOT "REJECT" ME BECAUSE I DID NOT ASK HER OUT YOU ABSOLUTE BITCH

philza: language

tommy: WIIIIIIIIIIIIIILLLBBBURRRRRRRRRR

wilbur: yes tommy?

tommy: I WAS TALKING TO HER AND I FELT COMPELLED WILBUR I FELT COMPELLED

wilbur: compelled?

tommy: yes wilbur I felt very COMPELLED

wilbur: mhm compelled to what

tommy: to give her my money, wilbUr

wilbur: oh... you- oh-

tommy: whAt

wilbur: tommy ... you're never getting your 100 bucks back

tommy: will???HELLOmm?? WHAT DO YOH MEAN!!?? HOW DO YOU KNOE THAT????,

wilbur: :'/ sucks to suck

tommy: WHAT??????

techno: sucks to suck ^×^

tommy: WHAT DO YOU MEAN JOW DID YOU KNOE YOU FUCKING PRICK

philza: it just sucks to suck tommy

wilbur: she told me and we told her to avoid you at all costs.

tommy: WHHHHHYYYYWOULD YOU DOOOOOOOO THATTTTTTTTTT

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I SAY BOOM BOOM BOOM
> 
> AND EVERYBODY SAY WAE HOOOO


	18. wait why is the soup for rent

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> how is the soup for rent if you eat it it's gone what is there to rent out

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm astonished at my own humor and I hate it
> 
> soup for rent:
> 
> nachu (niki)  
> rainbowsparkle (eret)  
> flutterpie(captain puffy)  
> foxRus (fundy) *  
> wibloop (wilbur)

soup for rent:

rainbowsparkle: I saw the chase scene, this is funniest thing I've ever seen in my whole life..

flutterpie: what chase scene?

foxRus: that's what all that noise is in the class next door?? your all bae bae kids

flutterpie: what on earth is a bae bae kid

foxRus: your boomer is showing

rainbowsparkle sent a video!

rainbowsparkle: I can't breathe

flutterpie: WHY IS THAT TALL SICK CHILD CHASING NIKI AND WHY IS WILBUR CHASING THAT TALL SICK CHILD

foxRus: that's tommy, he's tubbo's friend

rainbowsparkle: who's tubbo???

foxRus sent a photo!

foxRus: this is tubbo, he is ranboo's friend

flutterpie: who.... who is... ranboo???

foxRus: PUFFY LEARN SOME PEOPLE'S NAMES WHY DONT YOU, MAYBE MAKE SOME FRIENDS, AYE???

flutterpie: I'm burning you you furry, I'm going smash your pc with a hammer and break every single bit to the point that it's so unbearable and unrecognizable that you will feel it physically feel it in the deepest parts of your soul.

foxRus: that's scarily attractive, puff

rainbowsparkle sent a video! 

rainbowsparkle: I can't believe niki just hit a child and ran!!

nachu: EERTE STPP LIVE TWEETING MY ESPAPE

rainbowsparkle: I CAN'T HELP IT, IT'S NOT EVERY DAY A PIMP COMES IN DEMANDING MONEY

nachu: PIMP???? WHATS?!#+#?! THIS IS THE KID I ROBBED PLS

foxRus: he deserved it, that kid is mean :(

nachu: he is mean to u? should I hit him again?

wibloop: PLEASE DO NOT HIT MY BROTHER AGAIN, MISS NIHACHU 

nachu: I DIDN'T MEAN TO HIT HIM THE FIRST TIME I THOUGHT HE WAS REACHING TO GRAB MY ARM

wibloop: AND YOU WINDED HIM???? NIKI THE BOYS KIND OF A STICK BUG, HE'S NOT DOIFNG ANYTHING BUT PRAYING ??? HELLO????

nachu: valid, I'm too stronk.

foxRus: niki body builder arc?

flutterpie: niki captain america arc?

rainbowsparkle: lifting a train arc?

nachu: yes to all.

nachu: wilbur where are you guys?

wibloop: I told him you went the exact opposite way that you actually went

nachu: AYEEE Thanks Will!! :D I'll be hiding in a closet the rest of the day

rainbowsparkle: I thought you came out

flutterpie: we know you're bi, it's okay, come on

nachu: I can't stand it here

foxRus: :0 I am not allowing myself to make the bad joke

nachu: :[ no fuNDY do Not MAKE THE BAD JOKE 

nachu: we know u can be a butthole,u don't have to prove it

foxRus: CRIES

rainbowsparkle: SOBS

flutterpie: PISSES OANTS

wibloop: XLSHITS AND CUMDS

nachu: IM GOING BAVK TO GERMAN Y

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I typed this whole thing by putting nacho instead of nachu


	19. sheeeeeeeeeeesh

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> can y'all tell I main feraltwt? sHEEEEEEEEEeeeEEREEEsh

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> socks on:
> 
> prince sap  
> princess karl*  
> prince quackity  
> virgin (dream)  
> thot (geroge)

socks on:

thot sent a photo!

virgin: I ain't never seen two pretty best friends

princess quackity: WHAT THE FUCK IS RHAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN

princess karl: YEAH DUDE WHAT THE HONK NOT COOL

prince sap: this is why YOU'RE A VIRGIN

prince sap: YOU SUCK

prince sap: YOU SMELL LIKE. TOES SND PORK CHOPS BUT THE PORK CHOPS COOKED FOR TOO LONG SND HAVE BEEN IN THE FRIDGE TOO LONG SO THEY'RE NOT EDIBLE BUT NO ONE THROWS THEM AWAY BRCAUSE THEY'RE LAZY

princess quackity: GET HIS ASS

princess karl: YOU'RE WHOLE MOM IS BAD, YOUR MOM IS ACTUALLY BAD, SHE'S BAD AND YOU'RE BAD TOO

prince sap: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOGGGG

princess quackity: OOOOOSOOAOAOAOAOOOOOO

virgin: I meant gogy

princess quackity: so true, george is ugly

princess karl: yeah that makes sense

prince sap: agreed, agreed 

princess quackity: of course you didn't mean me and my cute self 

princess karl: yeah quackity is breautifal

prince sap: the most attractive man alive

prince sap: and dream your peen must be ✨ exceptionally large✨ thank u for recognizing my hunny's prettiness

thot: sou298={€=¢???? 

thot: I came in here trying to hype us up quackity, what the hell

thot: and dream you've had a crush on me since we were in the 5th gRADE neVER CC ALL MR UGLY AGAUN YOU STUPID ASS BITCH

thot: and sap I thought we were besties I've never felt so betrayed..... 💔

virgin: no body asked 

princess quackity: 0 people give a shit!

princess karl: literally you're dog water anyway, good night to that

prince sap: sorry bestie, my princesses have spoken.


	20. death grip in d minor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> AAAAA  
> ayyyYy  
> EEEEEE  
> AAA  
> OOO  
> UUU

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> nimrod : karl  
> duckmmm : quackity  
> cries : niki  
> tiny winky : tubbo  
> wilbur just wilbur

si mi do mi durk durk durk durk du:

cries: guys

duckmmm: girl

tinky winky: arrest this man

duckmmm: me ? and for what?

nimrod: for being too darn funny

cries: guys guys

wilbur: hi niki

cries: hi wil!

wilbur: what's up niki?

cries: I saw a pretty girl in the hallway when I went to go p

tinky winky: ew

cries: :( stop

cries: and then I told her I like her shirt, because she had on a cool shirt

duckmmm: niki with the game

duckmmm: more game than all of us combined

nimrod: mmmm no, no I don't think so

cries: she cried I made her cried, she cried and said thank u 

wilbur: oh my gosh I know who you're talking about

tinky winky: was it an ugly shirt? :/ be honest

cries: NOOOO I don't think so, I thought it was cool :((

cries: and then

cries: AND THENNNN

cries: SHE SAID 'are we going to kiss??" 

wilbur: that sounds like minx

nimrod: that definitely sounds like minx

duckmmm: wow you met minx, made her cry and start dating all in one bathroom trip

duckmmm: I get why teacher's hate giving us passes

tinky winky: I do not know who minx issssssss 

cries: that is for the best, tubbo

**Author's Note:**

> i am unsure if i should explain everyone's grades and relations or if i should let it get explain through deep plot and development


End file.
